The Blog Of Bex. Like sex, but with a "B".

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on FIRE....

Today is 9/9/9. And all I can think about are flame-retardant pajamas. What the hell is up with this?!

I realize that some poor little kids must have been in a house fire where their pj's went up in flames. That's horrible (and totally not funny so I'm gonna quit talking about it right...NOW.). But do children really have to, until the end of time, sleep in weird, sweaty fabrics that boast "Flame Retardant!" on their labels??!

And what, exactly, does "flame retardant" mean? I realize that it probably won't go off like a roman candle if exposed to a spark, but what happens if fire gets on it? Does it melt?? That probably wouldn't feel good, either, Folks.

My 8 year old has begun sleeping in her daddy's t-shirts because they are just regular old cotton. That's all kids want - some normal cotton jammy's that don't make them sweat so much that they have recurring dreams that they're stuck under a waterfall that feels like damp burlap.

I wonder if any studies have been done to find out how this has helped humanity. I would think that it has not. PLUS, they don't make adult flame-retardant pajamas, and I'm guessing that adults are the ones who fell asleep with a Marlboro dangling out of the side of their mouth, causing the fire in the first place.

Do other countries do this? I'd bet...not. The kiddie pajama people probably got sued by some Marlboro-smoking-while-in-bed jackass and now the rest of us have to deal with our sweaty, bullet-proof sleepers.

I'd like to see a label that says:

"This is non-treated fabric. It is neither flame retardant nor particularly flammable, but it feels nice. Just keep your kid away from matches, read her a story and quit smoking before you fucking hurt somebody."

Dare to dream....

2 comments:

leigh said...

i just thought you would like to know, someone found my blog today by googling "stripper bex."

are you holding out on me?

Bex said...

Wow...good news travels fast. All I did was fill out an application at the Cougar Club in Atlanta....